THE DAILY BEAST Tricia Romano
....after a week that not only included the bombings, but saw a popular gun-control bill getting shot down in Congress, causing The Onion to ruefully note—over a picture of glum-looking teenagers—“Next Week’s School Shooting Victims Thank Senate for Failing to Pass Gun Bill.”
The paper was on-the-nose in other respects, too, but perhaps its most scathing commentary was reserved for the media in general, and the New York Post, in particular.
As events were unfolding on Monday, the New York City tabloid posted details to its website and on Twitter that proved to be dangerously, wildly wrong. If one were to believe the Post, a Saudi man was a suspect, and as many as 12 people were reportedly dead.That was quickly determined to be false—and as far as anyone could tell, no heads rolled and there was no mea culpa from the paper itself, even when it was later revealed that the Saudi man police were questioning was actually someone who had witnessed the explosion and was among the injured.
While the media had a fun time ripping the Post a new one—it was The Onion that eviscerated the paper with the skill of a surgeon and the glee of Hannibal Lecter dining on a victim.
In a piece “written” by Post editor Col Allan, titled “This Is a Tragedy—Does It Really Matter How Many People Died or What Any of the Details Are?”, the site skewered the tabloid’s mishandling of the news: “We were doing what needed to be done: dashing off haphazard, poorly sourced yellow journalism that included an entirely speculative report on a Saudi national who we strongly suggested was behind the attack without a modicum of supportive evidence.”
Fake Col Allan wrote: “It was the right thing to do, and I’d do it again.”
And two days later, real Col Allan complied. On Thursday, the paper ran a cover that featured two men who were supposedly suspects, who turned out to be totally innocent bystanders. Cue spanking from Rachel Maddow.
....Elsewhere, the paper turned its sights on the problems with crowd-sourced policing, ....In one setup, the paper issued an apology to a family because they shot him based on false information:
[ Saying that we spoke too soon and probably should have looked at all the facts and information first before pulling the trigger, The Onion has issued an apology to the family of Boston resident Tom Mahoney, who was shot and killed by the news organization at 2:10 p.m. today. “We have learned that, contrary to our prior reports, Mr. Mahoney was in fact just a school teacher and not the Boston Marathon bomber,” read an official statement from The Onion. “Next time, instead of creating a media firestorm, misleading the public with uncorroborated information, and murdering an innocent man, we will make sure to confirm the identity of the bomber with the proper officials before taking a shot.” The Onion once again apologizes.]
(THE DAILY BEAST continues:) a scary foreshadowing of what could have happened to the many people who were misidentified by various news outlets as suspects throughout the week, with the help of real-life crowd-sourced policing.
That kind of satire is particularly shrewd especially when you consider CNN’s debacle on Wednesday, reporting that an arrest had been made, or the entire mainstream media’s incorrect reporting of the suspects’ names on Thursday night.
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During the Sept. 11 attacks, when most people were afraid to tackle the worst terrorist strike on U.S. soil, the website navigated the uneasy waters with grace. One cover story nailed the fear surrounding having an unknowable enemy and constantly moving target—a terrorist organization without a nation: “U.S. Vows to Defeat Whoever It Is We’re at War With,” read the headline. Another, brilliantly lampooned American culture in the same breath as it acknowledged death and destruction: “American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.”
This week, in a piece that mirrored the 9/11 era, headlined, “This What World Like Now,” the paper built an entire tragicomic story around a fact—Americans living in fear because of potential terrorist attacks have become routine—and managed to make it both poignant and darkly funny.
The piece quoted a Fake President Obama, who spoke a basic truth: “The days when we could walk outside and feel completely safe and secure are over. People die going to school now. They die going to the movies. And they die because, in this world, it’s more likely than not that some madman out there is hell-bent on instilling fear in others and destroying the lives of innocent people.”
(THE DAILY BEAST, cont'd:) As the Boston tragedy continues to unfurl, things will likely continue to get worse before finally taking a turn for the better. But Americans will have The Onion’s humor to turn to in times of duress to let off a little stress. The New York Times might have recently won four Pulitzers, but this week, The Onion really was America’s finest news source.
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The Onion’s best response to the entire media mess, though, was simple and to the point “BREAKING: We’re Doing a Bad Job:”
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That the publication is so good this week isn’t surprising. The Onion’s finest moments have often been during national tragedies and political upheaval. Remember the cover after the 2000 election was finally decided in favor of George W. Bush? “Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over,” was thigh-slappingly hilarious, until it turned out to be eerily prescient and, later, deeply unfunny—especially after those two wars and major recession became a reality.
That the publication is so good this week isn’t surprising. The Onion’s finest moments have often been during national tragedies and political upheaval. Remember the cover after the 2000 election was finally decided in favor of George W. Bush? “Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over,” was thigh-slappingly hilarious, until it turned out to be eerily prescient and, later, deeply unfunny—especially after those two wars and major recession became a reality.
During the Sept. 11 attacks, when most people were afraid to tackle the worst terrorist strike on U.S. soil, the website navigated the uneasy waters with grace. One cover story nailed the fear surrounding having an unknowable enemy and constantly moving target—a terrorist organization without a nation: “U.S. Vows to Defeat Whoever It Is We’re at War With,” read the headline. Another, brilliantly lampooned American culture in the same breath as it acknowledged death and destruction: “American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.”
This week, in a piece that mirrored the 9/11 era, headlined, “This What World Like Now,” the paper built an entire tragicomic story around a fact—Americans living in fear because of potential terrorist attacks have become routine—and managed to make it both poignant and darkly funny.
The piece quoted a Fake President Obama, who spoke a basic truth: “The days when we could walk outside and feel completely safe and secure are over. People die going to school now. They die going to the movies. And they die because, in this world, it’s more likely than not that some madman out there is hell-bent on instilling fear in others and destroying the lives of innocent people.”
The story was accompanied by a real photo taken just after the bomb had gone off, as runners and spectators fled the utterly chaotic scene.
[ The report in The Onion is actually more disturbing as it continues. Esco was especially unnerved by this paragraph:
Sources added that it is a horrifying, volatile world where phrases such as “our thoughts and prayers go out to,” “responders are currently sorting through the carnage,” and “a child is among the victims” are lines that everyone is now, sadly, quite familiar with.
Devices going off in trash cans, a citywide search for other deadly explosives, misinformation at the time of the attack, calling friends and making sure they are still alive, cell phone service being knocked out, images of someone in shock because they’ve just lost their limbs, and being overtaken by an overwhelming feeling of helplessness are all reportedly just part of how the world is now.]
[ The report in The Onion is actually more disturbing as it continues. Esco was especially unnerved by this paragraph:
Sources added that it is a horrifying, volatile world where phrases such as “our thoughts and prayers go out to,” “responders are currently sorting through the carnage,” and “a child is among the victims” are lines that everyone is now, sadly, quite familiar with.
Devices going off in trash cans, a citywide search for other deadly explosives, misinformation at the time of the attack, calling friends and making sure they are still alive, cell phone service being knocked out, images of someone in shock because they’ve just lost their limbs, and being overtaken by an overwhelming feeling of helplessness are all reportedly just part of how the world is now.]
(THE DAILY BEAST, cont'd:) As the Boston tragedy continues to unfurl, things will likely continue to get worse before finally taking a turn for the better. But Americans will have The Onion’s humor to turn to in times of duress to let off a little stress. The New York Times might have recently won four Pulitzers, but this week, The Onion really was America’s finest news source.